Bitchy Betty

We betties are strong independent thinkers who go the extra mile everyday to make the world a little bit better. But how far are we truly willing to go to make our point?

While thinking about what to right about for today’s post, I suddenly remembered the story of Jen Moss. Moss has been given many well-known nicknames over the years; in Ojai, CA she is known as “the pastie lady”; Ashland, Ore residents like to call her “the naked lady;” Moss likes to refer to herself, however, as “earth friend Jen.” She is a social activist dedicated to promoting sustainability, and, among other things, the use of natural fiber clothing. Most days she does this by walking, biking or roller blading nearly naked around town. Moss recently made headlines when she applied to walk in Ashland’s 4th of July parade in her usual “attire,” which consists of nothing more than a hemp g-string. This video of Moss sums up her basic manifesto, but there are deeper lessons to be learned. Yes, Earth Friend Jen takes things a little to the extreme, but her willingness to lead by example and inspire change in the world, even if it’s just to get people to stop and thing for one moment about their impact on the earth, is pretty admirable. “I never gave up,” she says, “even when people told me to be this way or be this way… I chose to be the change and take responsibility and forgive even if people weren’t sorry.”

So for today, as we blaze new trails for whatever it is that is most important to us; be it animal, human, gay, or women’s rights; fighting against world hunger; or the new Walmart moving into your neighborhood; That while others may put us down or belittle our crusades to better world, it is better to push through and change even one person’s mind than to retreat into the cycle of mediocrity. As for this Betty, while I may not go streaking just yet, I am going to head down to my local hemp store and take a look around.

Hell-to-the-yeah!

image: corbis

A good friend is single and pregnant. She’s a very strong woman and I have no doubt that she will be an amazing mom. But when you’re pregnant and your previous life seems to give way to the one you’re growing, that can be difficult to see. It’s scary.

I was excited when she shared this link with me and told me about the associated book that was helping her to gain perspective and get over the myths that the children of single moms are somehow deprived and turn out to be deliquents.

The Web site’s dos and donts section is great. Some of my favorites:

Do research all conveniences in your area, including full service gas stations, Automated Teller Machines, emergency day care, health clubs with day care, etceteras. Running errands becomes much more time consuming when you have a baby along for the ride.

Do continue to plan for your future as though you will be on your own forever. Although it is very likely that you will eventually find the right partner, you will be in a better position to choose wisely if your search is not motivated by financial or emotional need.

Don’t buy into the myth that a child needs a father figure in order to be psychologically and emotionally healthy. Single mothers have to be twice as diligent and twice as patient than those without children when choosing a partner. The wrong partner is much worse than none at all.

Don’t date men who do not have jobs. You have enough to take care of already. If a man can’t take care of his own life, he has no business being in yours.

The media stereotype is that single moms are trash, fodder for bad daytime TV. But that doesn’t make it so. Single moms have raised great leaders, kind and generous people and smart, creative contributors to communities around the world.

More resources for single moms:

• Moms Rising
• You & Me Kid
• National Organization of Single Mothers

I’m sure that the inventors of Heelarious thought it was funny. I’m certain that a joke about a shoe obsession turned into, what they thought was a clever business opportunity.

But it feels icky. Especially when you consider this or this.

It just seems like we want our girls to grow up too fast. On Feministe this week, Habladora talks about gender policing and her friend’s daughter forced to wear high heels when she’d rather be wearing sneakers.

Good Morning America has this video of tween beauty days at the spa. And a visit to Walt Disney World is not complete for any princess in training without a visit to the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique and a $200 makeover. This is beyond just playing dress up.

Hair style, shimmering makeup and nails plus full Princess costume with accessories and photo package (one 6×8 and four 4×6 pix) - starting at $202.30 with tax

Gigi Durham, author of The Lolita Effect offers five myths about sexuality. She argues that it’s rooted in the marketers’ efforts to create cradle-to-grave consumerism.

The myths are:

• If you’ve got it, flaunt it. Bare a “Barbie body” as often as you can. But don’t celebrate or enjoy any other body type. “It’s really excluding a lot of girls from enjoying and recognizing pleasure in their own bodies,” Durham said.
• Anatomy of a sex goddess. “Media reinforce a ridiculous ideal of being both extremely thin and voluptuous — a body not found in nature,” Durham said. “You have to go through borderline starvation and plastic surgery to get it.”
• Pretty babies. Representations of sexual girls are getting younger and younger. Many of the images presented as the most sexually desirable are images of girls as young as 11 or 12. “It’s problematic in many ways: It encourages sexualization of girls too young to make good decisions about sex. It legitimizes the idea that young girls should be looked at as sexual partners. And, presenting pre-pubescent bodies as the sexual ideal pressures grown women to achieve the body of a child who hasn’t even matured yet,” Durham said.
• Sexual violence is hot. Media aimed at children — like PG-13 “slasher” movies — convey the message that violence is sexy or that sex should be violent.
• Girls don’t choose boys; boys choose girls — and only hot girls. Women and girls are supposed to focus on pleasing men. But little emphasis is placed on women taking pleasure in their own sexuality or bodies, or on guys striving to please gals, Durham said. “It’s a very one-way construction of sex.”

From high-heeled “crib shoes” to $200 makeovers, and beyond… how can we let our little girls grow up at their own pace and not be little consumers from day one? I’d offer that it starts with the grown-ups. What do you think?

Summer blockbuster movies mean lots of superheroes kicking ass and saving the world from the scourges of evil. This summer we have Hancock, Incredible Hulk, Iron Man and Indiana Jones to start with.

What do women think of superheroes?

The Alliance of Female Film Journalists asks this question in a survey of its members to find out what they think of the dearth of the female superhero.

“…we take on the current crop of superheroes and their movies, their appeal to and treatment of women, and the root of the genre’s importance in contemporary culture. We look at how women play in superhero movies and whether their roles have changed in this summer’s crop”

The survey starts by asking if superhero movies are fundamentally “boy movies” or if the beefcake factor (or other factors) make them appeal to women, too. Some responses:

Jeanne Wolf’s observation that studios make superhero movies specifically for boys because “fan boys buy movie tickets and go to see favorite movies more than once, and blockbusters are an incentive to create more potential blockbusters” and Karen Martin’s comment that “women go to see superhero movies because they’re trying to please someone else–usually a man”

Within that range, most AWFJ members concur that superhero movies are primarily ‘boy movies’–although they have great appeal for women when the right factors are present. And, not altogether surprisingly, it ain’t the beefcake that holds greatest appeal.

In recent years there have been two female superheroes - Elecktra and Catwoman - both were dismal failures. The AWFJ asks why. Some responses:

AWFJ members are in consensus about “Catwoman” and “Elektra,” saying they failed because they’re bad/terrible/wretched/ awful/horrible/dreadful movies. Lexi Feinberg calls them a “grease stain on the genre.“

“They were bad because they had poor scripts and not very good actresses,“ says Laura Emerick. And, “they were made by people who don’t understand women, comics or movies,” comments Nell Minow. And, “they played to centerfold fantasies rather than female empowerment,” according to Carrie Rickey.

Disclaimer: I became a Jennifer Garner fan when she was in Alias and I hated Elecktra. But she can kick some ass.

The answers aren’t terribly surprising, and Super Jive adds what she would like to see in a superhero.

“I like the idea of more women as superheroes, and less as a tacked-on, bosom-heaving plot point, staked to the nuclear warhead and rescued moments before it goes off. “Oh creepy masked hero with apparent psychological issues! Now that you have saved me my panties are just flinging themselves off!”

A little less panty flinging, and a little more ass kicking would be great. What do you think? What makes a good female superhero?

We all have people in our lives we’d like to “help” through constructive criticism but often it’s difficult to imagine doing so in person. Enter Hello! You There!

From Hello! You There!

You can use this site to send anonymous, constructive advice to anyone about anything you like.

The hope is that, over time, this project will have triggered lots of small, seemingly insignificant changes that collectively might make a slight contribution to a better society.

Your advice will be sent by post.
It can be trivial or devastatingly important but the key is for it to be constructive.

Sounds like bitchy betty and Hello! You There! would be great friends.

Photo by y3ti4liv3 via Stock Exchange

Is the measure of happiness something that is applicable on a global scale? University of Michigan has published its “Happiness Index” and according to researchers, the world is getting happier.

The results of the survey, going back an average of 17 years in 52 countries and involving 350,000 people, will be published in the July 2008 issue of the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science. Researchers have asked the same two questions over the years: “Taking all things together, would you say you are very happy, rather happy, not very happy, not at all happy?” And, “All things considered, how satisfied are you with your life as a whole these days?”

A Happiness Index created from the answers rose in 40 countries between 1981 and 2007, and it fell in the other 12.

Denmark is 1st, Zimbabwe is last and the United States ranks 16th (apparently the “boomers” are dragging us down).

The new survey finds people of rich countries tend to be happier than those of poor countries. And controlling for economic factors, certain types of societies are much happier than others.

“The results clearly show that the happiest societies are those that allow people the freedom to choose how to live their lives,” Inglehart said.

A couple of particularly interesting results: Columbia is 3rd (Central America is well represented toward the top of the list), Nigeria is in the top 30 and Greece is the lowest ranking of the “western” countries.The bottom of the list doesn’t really present any surprises: Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova and Armenia join Zimbabwe in the bottom 5.

How happy are you?

Lorena Bobbit has long been the butt of late night jokes and snickers - 15 years in fact. What often get’s lost is the fact that Lorena was the victim of ongoing abuse by her husband John Wayne Bobbit. The media has, from the beginning, not taken the Bobbit case seriously and, thus, marginalized abused women in the process.

Antonia Zerbisias of Broadsides reminds us of the history and talks about the recent comparison of Lorena to Hillary Clinton by political wonk and “TV twit” Tucker Carlson.

The jokes, the t-shirts (”Love Hurts”), the highly publicized adult films that her husband starred in all devalue Lorena’s experience and that of thousands of women around the world who are victims of family violence. Let’s stand up for women everywhere and take this violence seriously.

bitchy betty aims to launch bettyNation to protect women and children from family violence. Want to learn more? Visit our site.

Photo from ABC News, 1993

I want to share a couple of videos with you. In the US we’re celebrating a long holiday weekend full of BBQs and fireworks. I am spending some great time with friends and family, but on a quiet Saturday morning, it’s worth thinking about how fortunate we are and what we can do to make a change in the world.

Miniature Earth

The “miniature earth” video is not new, but it’s still powerful (click on the video to go to the miniature earth Web site). It’s easy to get wrapped up in the latest, the greatest and shiny new toy. But consider how different most of the world lives from yourself.

The Other Side of the Coin

If the juxtaposition of images from the developed and the developing world don’t touch your soul, you may not have one. Ekin Caglar uploaded this video to YouTube in February and nearly 500,000 people have viewed it. Take a look, be inspired and do something today to change the world!

Women on the Web have a photo essay on the Summer’s Scariest Stilletos.

A couple of my faves:

Haille Perry

Miu Miu

Yikes! My pitch for this bitch?

How about these: